circus
i was sleeping but woke to them arguing downstairs through an open window, getting louder and louder. i could hear andrea crying and jake screaming but i'm not sure what they were arguing about.
all of a sudden there was what sounded like a gun shot. i jumped out of bed, wrapped my sheet around myself and hurried down a rickety flight of stairs, holding the sheet up like a giant dress, trying not to break my neck.
no one was bleeding but there was a hole in a car that didn't belong to any of us and i hissed, "what the fuck?!"
andrea, her face tear-stained and her eyes swollen turned to me and told me she couldn't take it anymore. i handed her my apartment key and kissed her on the cheek. i whispered, "it'll all work out. don't worry, honey. my home is yours. do whatever you need to."
jake was sitting on the curb with his head in his hands, the gun in his left hand. he was rocking back and forth, crying. i dragged my sheet with me over to where he was sitting, said his name and touched his shoulder. he immediately turned and shouted toward my building, "i'm giving it to her! see!" he handed me the gun, barrel first. slightly freaked out, i set it on the street about a foot away with the barrel facing away from us.
he threw his arms around my waist and buried his face into my shoulder and just sobbed. his whole body was shuddering, he was sweating through his clothes, sweating through my sheet.
he was trying to say something but i couldn't make it out because he was sobbing so hard. i held him, rocking him him gently and kept whispering in his ear. "shh. it'll be ok. don't worry, sweetheart. everything will be ok. you'll be alright. shh."
he looked up at me, tears still streaming down his face. i automatically wiped them away with my fingers and he said, "the street light, you and i are the only things that exist right this second."
"i know, sweetheart, i know."
he squeezed me even tighter and i started to cry. we rocked together like that in the street while he kept trying to apologize (i'm not sure why) and calling andrea's name. it killed me to see him like this.